New Years Eve

For the last few days I have been undergoing the very painful process of facing myself. It hurts. Probably more than almost anything I've done. Today there have been two songs refusing to leave my head. The first is by the late great Five Iron Frenzy and is called "New Years Eve." I wish you could hear it, but the words will have to do.

It's New Years Eve and I'm full of empty promises,
I half pretend to keep this time, just like last year.
The band is loud and I'm wandering the shadows,
wishing I was never here.
I persevere.
A crowded room, these whitewashed tombs,
they raise their glasses high, they kiss the past goodbye.

This New Years Eve, I'm waiting for tomorrow.
My heart is on my sleeve,
and yes I still believe, this New Years Eve,
will turn out better than before,
I'm holding on, still holding out,
until they close the door... on me.

It's New Years Eve and I feel my insecurities,
are haunting me like ghosts, this sinking quicksand.
And then with thunderous praise and lofty adoration,
a second passes by, yet nothing changes.
I hate my skin, this grave I'm standing in.
Another change of years, and I wish I wasn't here.

A year goes by and I'm staring at my watch again,
and I dig deep this time,
for something greater than I've ever been,
life to ancient wineskins.
And I was blind but now I see.

This New Years Eve, something must change me inside,
I'm crooked and misguided, and tired of being tired.
This New Years Eve, I'm waiting for tomorrow.
My heart is on my sleeve, and yes I still believe, in You.

"The Blues" by Switchfoot has also been stuck in my head.



Happy New Year. May you truly live.

i have been miraculously transported...

...to Virginia! Surprise! Yes, I know, for me too. I shall return to Hamburg about fourteen hours into 2007 (oh my goodness...2007...it almost hurts to say it).

this is awesome!

wow... these guys have the coolest music videos ever. check it out:

As is antitraditional...

So, for those who still haven't found out, I am, in fact, not in California! Surprise! Yep, the flights were canceled. You know, too much snow to land. Makes it tough. So here I am in Hamburg! Woo hoo! Well, it would have been great to see my grandparents, but think of all the fun things I would have missed if I had gone:

I would never have given my room the thorough cleaning and rearrangement that I did (it actually looks somewhat presentable!)

I would never have seen Jeremy with his now ridiculously short hair (yep, you read that right)

I would never have learned to play the accordion (i did! i did!)

I would never have learned that silica gel really doesn't taste very good (i expected it to have a sort of zing)

I would never have watched the hilarious and sappy Christmas family films with my family (couldn't go without)

I would never have gone caroling with mi familia through the local nursing home (instruments: guitar, mandolin, viola, recorder)

I would never have had a rockin' Christmas eve party with my friends complete with crazy jammin' and texas hold-em'

Wow, just the thought of what I could have missed! And there's more to come!

Another of Apple's Secrets!

Yeah, you guys have heard of phi (pronounced "fee" or "fy"). The magic number. The golden ratio. The sum of five's square root and one divided by two. 1.6180339887.... The number that shows up the most in art and music other than pi (it even graces a page in David Crowder's second book, but that is another story).

Phi has some pretty slick properties. Take, for example, these equations: "phi+1=phi(squared)" & "phi-1=(square root)phi"

Pretty snifty, right? It's the only number that does that.

So what's the point of phi? Well, it is the ratio of the length to the width of the rectangles that are most visually pleasing to humans. Seriously. If you ask someone to draw a rectangle and then measure its sides, their ratio will probably be close to phi.

So what am I getting at? Well, if phi rectangles are visually pleasing, shouldn't companies make products in this ratio? So let's see, what company is famous for designing incredibly attractive machines? That's right: Apple. So I did a quick spec review, and I found this: all of Apple's displays are built to the approximate proportions of phi! Not just the external displays, but also the built-in screens of iMacs, MacBooks, and MacBook Pros! Sweet!

Brilliant Songwriting for Ye Chemists

Author of my Prasie

Have you ever smiled so hard and long that it hurts? Sure you have. How about not being able to stop? I don't mean not allowed, I mean being physically unable to stop smiling. Cause life is just too awesome to not smile.

That's me tonight. Czech out this brand-spanking-classic formula:

Seeing tons of old friends (and role models)
+
Singing amazing, amazing music (including about four minutes of "Amen")
+
Prayers answered, time after time
+
Mi hermana made it home!
=
A nasty ache in my mouth. Still I can't stop smiling!


Oh, and the stars are brilliant(!) tonight....

The Chronicles of Blindness

0636 I wake up for the sixth and final time this morning, as so prompted by my mother.
0649 I don my stunning airline-quality eye shade and am suddenly transformed into (dun dun dun...) BLIND-er-MAN!!! I stumble downstairs and prepare to leave for school.
0659 After running headlong into no fewer than four trees, I am convinced that ten years of walking to school is not enough for me to really know the way. My mother is merciful and drives the last two thirds of the way to school.
0702 I enter the choir room a bit late for choir practice. My coworker assures me that I need not take attendance this time and escorts me to my position.
0800 Choir is dismissed. I am extraordinarily relieved that I had previously memorized most of Vivaldi's Gloria.
0814 Interestingly enough, it took three of my female classmates to get me to Bible class.
0906 I fall asleep in class (much easier when my eyes are already closed and the teacher can't tell).
0937 I arrive at Chemistry class, escorted by Jon, but am once again a bit late.
0951 Sighs of relief are released when we realize that our quiz is postponed for the next day.
1101 Voice lesson! Mr. Flores is rather tickled at the idea of my blindness, and is pleased to find that I have my aria memorized (lucky me). My voice is interestingly enhanced by the lack of sight, or maybe it is only a placebo.
1204 Yep, sight reading piano music is basically impossible while blind.
1235 Hurrah for lunch! Dan leads me very well through the line. I get the typical BMA lunch: vegi-meat, veggies, and (wonder of wonders) salad!
1250 Wow. It's really hard to figure out where the food is on the plate.
1335 My coworker and fellow blind(wo)man, Adella, agrees with me that blindness and music department don't mix. That means no work. She leads me (seriously!) to the Leadership Department. She declines my ping-pong challenge.
1351 I exit the Leadership Department in search of the Ad building.
1425 After being hopelessly and helplessly lost for the last half hour, I find myself in the back of the Adventist Book Center, having no idea how I got there.
1625 I wake up on the floor of the Leadership Department. Apparently blindness promotes power naps.
1738 I find myself in Pastor Sergio's office, where I am being interrogated about how my day went. I describe the experience as "eye-opening."
1811 The blindfold is removed! I see the light! And I am blinded....

exercise

"Sure, you'll never catch the wind, but think of all the calories you'll burn while chasing it!"
--Mother (quoted indirectly)